The Cave

It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind

There are many interpretations of the image of a cave in various spiritual and philosophical lines of thought. There are many times in our lives that we may feel that we are in a cave. The one that first comes to my mind is a theme of disconnection. Several of the people I work with refer to their offices as "the cave", as they superficially resemble one, having no windows and dim lighting. In a more abstract (and more frightening) way, I think that many academics treat their work as a cave. Their specialty is, to them, endlessly engrossing. Each question leads to the next, and becomes more tantalizing, sometimes leading further and further from the original question as a spelunker is drawn into cavern upon cavern, each deeper than the next. In the case of academics and wandering spelunkers, their time spent in the cave may leave them altered. When they emerge, the light outside is bright and the world is over-stimulating and confusing, much wider and broader and less reliable than their safe, monotonous underground tunnels.Maybe this is why some avoid coming out of the cave at all costs.
This leads to the idea of a cave being a comforting, safe place. Ignorance is bliss and being cut off from the rest of the world is a great way to remain blissfully ignorant of the things you don't know (and we all have so much to learn, whether we know it or not).


However the image of the cave that I am often reminded of is the cave of Saint Ignatius. Even if you're not religious, you have to admit that Catholicism has some pretty wild stories. This one remains one of my favorites (despite the fact that I'm really quite disspointed at Ignatius for kicking women out of his order... what gives??). As the story goes, Ignatius was a real jerk. He did not practice the Christian spirit of giving and he only cared about himself, not to mention the fact that he had other quite questionable morals. So he joined the army for the money, planning to come away filthy rich. Instead, he got hit in the leg with a cannon ball and had God come to him while he waited in a cave, hiding and recovering, isolated and scared. Funny how these things happen, isn't it? Because of his conversion, Ignatius came out of the save completely different from when he went in and founded the Ignation order.

This was a very formative (and radical) event for Ignatius. But we all go through this sequence in our lives. We are hurt, we heal by cutting ourselves off, hiding away, or otherwise protecting ourselves. Then one day we realize we are coming out of this isolation and we are different from when we began.

I know I've had several of these experiences. (In my opinion, I've had far too many, especially lately, but I guess you can't argue with the big guy. Or if you prefer, the fates, or what have you.) It's scary to feel disconnected and many times it is sad and lonely. But if you open yourself up the experience and give yourself permission to feel your feelings, acknowledge that you have a broken heart or a cannon ball'd leg, then you can begin to heal. And when you come out the other side, you can look into the cave and say, yes it's good that I went through that. And you can look at the time before the cave and say, it's all right that these things happened, because I am stronger now.

Progress does not come from denying your struggles, because if you deny them, you will never learn from them. You will repeat your mistakes, treating each event as a random occurrence, and you will never grow. I would the first to admit that sometimes, I get STUCK in the cave and I don't want to leave. Instead of letting myself be renewed, I sit facing the wall and think about how miserable and cold and dark it is. And if this is all you do, it will get you nowhere. There is a fine line between acknowledging your feelings, treating yourself with gentleness and self-absorbance or painting yourself as a helpless pawn of others' deceitful ways. This is why we need perspective. (And that's a WHOLE 'nother entry.) (TBA). But if our hurts are ignored then we never really heal from them; we carry them around and they change us as surely as if our skin had not seen the sun's warmth as we continue to hide inside this metaphorical rock face. When we spend some time with them face to face, just us and them in the empty, spacious darkness, then we can begin to let them go, and when we finally come into the light, they may no longer matter at all except for as a change in our hearts.

Mumford and Sons- The Cave
It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Cause I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's hand

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again