Saturday, December 17, 2011

Dumb things that guys say

 "Just go with it."

 "I don't want to put a label on what we have."

 "I want things to develop between us organically."

 "When you do that it reminds me of my ex."

  "I wish we lived in the 50's because they had better music." (And when reminded that women generally weren't involved in the sciences at that time: "You could be a nurse!")

 "I just don't want to upset my mom."

 "I don't understand why it's a problem that I'm sharing a room with her during the trip."

 "I don't know why you don't trust me."

 "I'm not going to put any more into this relationship that you are willing to." (Keeping in mind, of course, that they never acknowledge how darn much we put in...)

 "I just don't want to feel tied down."

 "I don't want to resent you for not letting me achieve my goals."

 (Of a flirty female coworker) "I really think you would like her if you got to know her."

 "You look cute, not sexy."

 "Why you don't like my friends??"

 "We can hang out in my room."

 "You would be pretty if you lost some weight." (Props to Tina Fey!!)

 "I wish things could be the way they were in college."

 "Well everybody knew they were going to get engaged next."

 "I don't want the guys to think I just do whatever you want."

 "This sounds like a line but honestly ...(fill in the blank)."

 (On issues of intimacy) "I want to but what if our parents found out?"

 "I would invite you in, but I don't want to upset you."

 "I'm a student too... a student of life."

 "My dog won't cuddle with me... will you come over and do it?"

 "It's ok if you don't want to go out tonight, I'll just cry myself to sleep. Only I don't have any tissues so can I come over and use some of yours?"

 "I wouldn't know... I'm awful with women." (Followed by a wink, this suave statement deserves a solid soc in the face.)

 "I couldn't take your name if we got married... that would make it look like I'm submissive to you."

 "Thanks for the offer, but that's not going to help."

  "You cat's not really as cute as you think she is." (CLEARLY a lie motivated by bitterness.)

 "This (fill in the season during which your relationship has been developing) has been the worst of my life."

 (To a bro) "You complete me." (They think its funny, but it's SO not.)

 "I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day/our anniversary/Christmas because we said we weren't going to spend too much money."

and of course the classic: "I think you're overreacting."

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