Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The Happiest Time of the Year

Sitting down and planning holidays with family is one of the hardest things in life. Mostly because there is no sitting down. There's a lot of calling back and forth, and texts and he said she said. Family decisions are weighted by the number of people they affect and so oftentimes the opinion of a single, childless member has very little value. This makes things even more difficult, because these are the people who need to look out the most for themselves, and the ones who the rest of the family think they're doing some kind of favor for, so they won't be alone. To make things worse, the routine and interests of younger members is often out of tune with that of the older members of the family. Nothing fits together.

When a family is young, the parents (or sometimes one parent) makes the decisions. Most possible situations (seeing mom's side of the family or dad's, seeing friends or going on a trip) are equally enjoyable for the kids so there's little discord (outside of the everyday discord of dirty diapers, uncomfortable socks, and eating fruits and vegetables). Eventually though, the needs of the offspring become more complex and disparate from those of the parent generation. Someone is always being asked to compromise. Often, no one gets what they want. Other times, one party acquiesces to the wishes of the others, putting their own needs aside; but unfortunately if the other parties don't recognize the developmental changes in the maturing family, then the sacrifices made on one person's part are merely met with a lack of recognition.

Holidays are supposed to be a joyous time for all. But if the joy of one depends on others acting in a role which they no longer truly occupy (and, therefore, can't really fill) then expectations are not met, resentments grow, and discontent is the theme of the day. Only by stepping back and recognizing, and appreciating, who each member of the family is, and by letting each person make their nown sincere contribution, will everyone find peace together.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Answers for guys

Men and women have long been known to think differently. Sometimes this can cause difficulties in communication between the sexes! Anecdotal evidence tell us that many couples run into the same problems, over and over again.
The following is a guide to answers for guys.

Woman: Does this outfit make me look fat?
Correct answer, in all situations: No.

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Woman: What did you think of Jenny at the party last night?

Wrong: She seemed to be a lovely person
Wrong: She was ok
Wrong: She was a dog

Correct answer: Which one was Jenny?

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Woman: Do you have plans this weekend?

Correct answer: I was hoping to spend it with you, since that is the best possible use of my time.

Also acceptable: I was going to wash the floors for you, since I know you've been too busy to get around to it.

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Woman: What was your first kiss like?

Correct answer, if not with the woman present: Disappointing.
Correct answer, if with the woman present: The most magnificent moment in my life.

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Woman: Mindy just got married.

Wrong: We don't need a label to show that we love each other.
Wrong: Weddings are a beautiful tradition of two people sharing their lives and love with others.

Correct answer: Look, I bought you this shiny ring!
(This answer is correct regardless of how long you've been seeing each other. Fork over the jewelry and work it out later.)

Friday, December 6, 2013

Thoughts

What's with all these 7 layer dips? Seven layers is too much. It's excessive. Two or three is enough. Don't go crazy, people.

Kmart, your "gif-out" commercials are annoying and a little creepy. As if your business weren't already in the toilet. Couldn't you just make a commercial about how your stores are so much less crowded, better lit, stocked, and your rewards program is super easy to use?? Oh sorry, I guess that would make too much sense.

I'm reading this great book called The Signal and the Noise. It has some intresting tidbits, including that news stations that forecast more severe weather get better ratings, even if they're wrong. Did y'all know that?! It's terrible. Stop buying into the panic.

I really like that there's a growing trend to use the term "partner" for any significant other. I like that it doesn't make sexuality the main issue. In addition, I feel like referring to my significant other as my "boyfriend" understates our relationship. People had boyfriends in seventh grade. I'm dating a man, not a boy, and we're in a committed relationship. I think that as many professionals put off marriage later for career reasons (or are opposed to it for idealistic reasons), countless people are in similar situations. By using the term "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", I feel that people can immediately judge the relationship to be transient, frivolous or just "less" than what a legally married couple has (since this country thinks that marriage means that two people will magically be together forever, without any work).

When should I start worrying about the growing crack in my ceiling? Is it actually growing or am I just imagining that it is, when I'm staring up at it while stretching after my workout?