Monday, June 25, 2012


8 am

Me: Wow cool a thunder storm!
Me: Wow cool lightning!
*drip drip drip drip WHOOSH*
Me: Wow cool rain- OMG the sunroof's open!!!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

How to stay cool

10. Froyo!!!

9. Making robot voices by talking into a fan

8. Catch a movie (you may actually need to bring a sweater for this one)

7. Cuddle with a dampened towel that's been frozen

6. Make an excuse to look for samples in the walk-in freezer

5. Fill a tub with two inches of cold water and dip your feet in (woo! No matter how hot you are, I bet you have a hard time submerging them)

4. Put some ethanol-based hand sanitizer on the back of your neck. The ethanol will evaporate, using energy and cooling your skin.

3. Sit on the cool concrete floor of a basement

2. Eat a frozen banana in pieces (preferably flash frozen with liquid nitrogen)

1. Say hello to an ex (the cold shoulder should provide significant relief from the heat)

Rock on

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, June 11, 2012

Ten ways

Ten ways to say "Eff you!" to the world when life gives you lemons

10. Wear something that makes you look hot, and walk like you know it.

9. Do a really kickass job on a project at work

8. Master a new dessert recipe. Don't share.

7. Run a PR on your normal running course.

6. Fix something.

5. Paint your nails a striking color.

4. Make a list of all the chores you've been meaning to do. Cross as many off this weekend as possible.

3. Make a list of all the fun things you've been meaning to do. Cross as many off this week as possible.

2. Turn on an oldies station and do your best moves as if EVERYone is watching- and impressed.

1. Know that you're awesome, and live it.

posted from Bloggeroid

After further negative interactions with various men....

Female: i m like Luke in the cave where he sees Vader and the helmet explodes and it's his own face!!

 BFF: I'm just glad yore not around that shit anymore.
 Female: except Chewie didnt invite Luke to the party after he broke up with Leia
 BFF: Helmet included.
11:03 PM Female: only instead of being horrified by the helmut, I'm happy
 and then I put on the whole costume
 BFF: Um...I don't know enough star wars to get this analogy. But I think I see where you're goin.
 Female: with heels
 BFF: And now I get it again!!
11:04 PM And you look even BETTER than before bc the helmet blowing off made your hair have AWESOME VOLUME
 Female: omg!!
11:05 PM BFF: And then when you are on your way to another galaxy to do something more important, he sees you and wonders what the frick is wrong with him. And then an asteroid hits him at the same time as this realization.
  Done and done.
 Female: and then he gets poked in the EYE
 Female: OH
 BFF: Hahaha
 Female: yeah that
11:06 PM       doesnt he have to get buried in space poop first

 BFF: No see
  They bury him in space poop after he's dead
 Female: ah
  bc no one cares
  plus he has so many space STDs
11:07 PM BFF: Yes! And then he comes back to life bc he's been snacking on girls that are too young for him recently
 Female: so he's a vampire?
 BFF: Um kinda. And THEN he gets poked in the eye, in front of all said girls. Then he's shot off into space in a giant capsule
  ...made of Squirrely's used hypodermic needles
11:08 PM 
It's a well known medical condition actually
  Quarter/Mid-life crisis syndrome
  It only affects shallow men.
  ...but it always gets em in the long run.
11:09 PM Female: ah. Well, thanks for explaining it to me, scientifically. I'll be able to rest easier tonight.