Why does watching 5 minutes of Hoarders cheer me up while 30 minutes makes me depressed?
In addition, why am I eating this??
...it's Ghirardelli's's dark chocolate brownie mix with chocolate sour cream frosting. I made a 13x9 tray.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
.... if you're a guy.
10. Do something manly and vaguely dangerous. Make sure you insist that you can do it yourself if anyone offers to help. Break something expensive in the process.
9. Do something manly and vaguely dangerous. Make sure you insist that you can do it yourself if anyone offers to help. Injure yourself in the process.
8. Drink excessively while aggressively assuring your significant other that you're only "a little buzzed." Attempt to walk across the room and break something expensive in the process.
7. Drink excessively while aggressively assuring your significant other that you're only "a little buzzed." Attempt to walk across the room and injure yourself in the process.
6. Eat something that you've taken out of the garbage and when someone accuses you of eating trash, insist that it isn't trash because "it was sort of on top."
5. Break up with your long-term girlfriend so that you can have the freedom to hang out with the "bros" whenever you want. Then, stand by as every one of the bros gets engaged in the next two years.
4. Drunk text any girl, for any reason.
As a bonus, make sure the drunk text is a non-sexual message, and then apologize the next morning with the excuse, "I was SO drunk. And horny."
3. Repeatedly pester a female acquaintance to participate in somewhat suspect activities such as night hikes and "hanging out" -in your room. Continue these offers even after you both agree that you should just be friends. Then, long after she stops answering your texts, manage to "coincidentally" run into her by frequenting a venue she told you about. Ask her if you know each other (HAH) and tell that you didn't recognize her and she looks beautiful; after she gives a neutral response, sit at a table about ten feet away where you have a clear view of her. Start telling the staff how pretty you think she is. Make sure she tells one of these staff go-betweens in no uncertain terms that she finds you both unattractive and irritating. Act surprised if she moves away when you move to the table next to her and ask what's wrong.
2. Don't wear a belt to work, such that when you bend over while looking in the hallway fridge and your ex girlfriend turns the corner, she is offered a full an unobstructed view of your sixteen year old boxers. Just stand there and blush/gape after you realize she's politely asking to get by.
1. Be yourself.
(Also nominated were: "Admit to having seen The Notebook or The Last Unicorn" and "Pick out your own outfit for an interview.")
**Please note: all of these examples are fictional, even if they seem extremely specific and you know the person who did them.