Saturday, November 16, 2013

Dumb things that guys say 3

"Please do X. I could do it myself, but I don't want to."

A 50-something year old man, after his turn looking at a faraway galaxy through a state of the art telescope, "Can we look at something more interesting?" (Shout out to Chelsea for relaying this to me)

"Fine then! You're no longer my number three!" (Quoted from Bridesmaids, definitely deserves to be included in DTGS)

"It was fine I was in her bedroom because her kids were home!" (Nope not true, nice try)

"Want to video chat? I'll show you my bedroom, it's in the basement."

"What's your favorite thing about yourself? Mine is my... well, you know ;) (And when accused of making an uncomfortable situation) Oh code on, it was just a joke!"

"Doing it the hard way week make you feel more useful."

Day 1: "I really have no idea if So and so wants X."
Day 2: "I think that if So and so wants X, we should do Y."
Day 3: "I really feel there's a good chance that So and so wants X, so we need to do Y."
Me: "Well, did you ask So and so if she wants X?"

Text from an ex, three months after breaking up: I owe you an apology. Can we get together for coffee? (After message that phone contact only is preferable, he fails to call or initiate any additional contact)

"I hate when people clean before they have guests. They're just trying to hide the fact that they're slobs."

"I would totally blow off my friends for you if you weren't on your period and we could have sex."

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