After further negative interactions with various men....
Female: i m like Luke in the cave where he sees Vader and the helmet explodes and it's his own face!!
BFF: I'm just glad yore not around that shit anymore.
Female: except Chewie didnt invite Luke to the party after he broke up with Leia
BFF: Helmet included.
11:03 PM Female: only instead of being horrified by the helmut, I'm happy
and then I put on the whole costume
BFF: Um...I don't know enough star wars to get this analogy. But I think I see where you're goin.
Female: with heels
BFF: And now I get it again!!
11:04 PM And you look even BETTER than before bc the helmet blowing off made your hair have AWESOME VOLUME
11:05 PM BFF: And then when you are on your way to another galaxy to do something more important, he sees you and wonders what the frick is wrong with him. And then an asteroid hits him at the same time as this realization.
Done and done.
Female: and then he gets poked in the EYE
BFF: No he DIES
Female: yeah that
11:06 PM doesnt he have to get buried in space poop first
BFF: No see
They bury him in space poop after he's dead
bc no one cares
plus he has so many space STDs
11:07 PM BFF: Yes! And then he comes back to life bc he's been snacking on girls that are too young for him recently
Female: so he's a vampire?
BFF: Um kinda. And THEN he gets poked in the eye, in front of all said girls. Then he's shot off into space in a giant capsule
...made of Squirrely's used hypodermic needles
It's a well known medical condition actually
Quarter/Mid-life crisis syndrome
It only affects shallow men.
...but it always gets em in the long run.
11:09 PM Female: ah. Well, thanks for explaining it to me, scientifically. I'll be able to rest easier tonight.