I've recently moved into a new apartment. It's slightly smaller and much cheaper than my last residence, and I'm quite pleased with it. However, there are certain things that I wish I had looked at beforehand to possibly negotiate with the landlord before moving in. These, and other pointers, are included in the following list, and I'll leave it up to the reader to pick out the ones that are from real experiences.
10. Does the front yard contain hermit crabs?
9. Is the building overwhelmingly occupied by grad students that hate their lives and will eventually cease to maintain minimal levels of hygiene?
8. Is the "picture window" made of, cumulatively, more than 3 glass molecules? (Energy conservation may suffer if the answer is no.)
7. Is your apartment actually a basement? (Look for windows, note if you have to walk DOWN stairs from the main level, etc. This is a huge tip for you, guys.)
6. Are previous residents expected to take their belongings when they move out or will each person in the house leave various items so that eventually the current residents will have to navigate the kitchen as if in a maze, through the piles of junk?
5. Does the landlord allow pets up to 20lbs just to accommodate the roaches that live there?
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4. Do any other tenants actually live in the building or is it mainly a front for extramarital affairs or illegal activities?
3. Have electrical outlets been updated? (Ie, do plugs spontaneously fall out of the wall because the outlets are so worn?)
2. When the landlord says, "It's a new fridge," does he mean new to the world or made in 1959 but new to this specific apartment?
1. Mysterious bloodstains on the inside of cabinets
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