Monday, February 20, 2012

Problems encountered at work vs staying home sick

Work problem: Trying to figure out if your outgroup is closely related enough to discern phylogenetic relationships among very close relatives
Sick problem: Higher brain functions have failed to the point where you cannot distinguish soap from gel hand sanitizer

Work problem: Your document didn't print correctly, forcing you to walk all the way down the hall to the dept office and back, twice
Sick problem: Stumbling to the bathroom twice in one day seems like an Olympic feat

Work problem: At the end of the day, you realize the outfit you're wearing makes you look a little husky
Sick problem: At the end of the day, you're so dehydrated and your stomach is so empty that if your friend ho saw you they'd think you've suddenly become anorexic

Work problem: Undergrads interrupting you while you're trying to conduct an analysis
Sick problem: Unfed cat interrupting you while you're trying to nap

Work problem: Hair constantly falls in eyes
Sick problem: Hair smells like vomit

Work problem: Only getting up from your chair once an hour can leave you feeling achy
Sick problem: Only getting up from your couch once a day can leave you permanently contorted like a human Gumby

Work problem: Rationing funds from a single internal grant to cover six projects
Sick problem: Rationing 1 box of tissues so they'll last for the next six days

This post is dedicated to everyone who has the norovirus right now :p

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