The apartment below me recently became occupied by a pair of 18 year olds.
You can imagine how thrilled I am.
10:00am Loud morning sex
5:15 Have friends over
5:20 Break out the booze
5:25 Swap jokes and laugh hysterically
5:35 Argue over various issues and insult each other in loud voices
5:40 Hit things with other things and laugh hysterically
6:00 Time to break out the extremely cheap pot!!
8-11pm Go out
11:00 Arrive back at apartment
11:05 Practice yelling
11:15 Knock over furniture
11:25 Time for extremely loud sex!
11:30 Practice porn star moaning punctuated with awkward pauses
11:35 Scream each others' names unconvincingly
11:40 Practice yelling
11:45 Hit things with other things
12:00 More sex
[At this point I usually fall asleep which I believe is probably important for my sanity. When I ran into my landlord, he explained to me that the new residents downstairs were living away from home for the first time. He admitted they had some troubles but that they were "good kids" and added, "Well you remember the kinds of things you did when you were that age."
I informed him that when I was that age, the situation was a bit different.]