Denser than a rock.
Slower than a sloth's bowl movements
Voice more annoying than listening to a cheerleader flirt with your crush in 8th grade.
Head so far up their ass they were invited to join the US Olympic Gymnast Team.
So dumb they can't tell you're from your.
More dramatic than Taylor Swift.
As fat as Maru, but not as cute.
Sluttier than the original version of Yes Sir, I Can Boogie.