Tuesday, June 4, 2013

If I were Ironman

Jarvis, fix this sh**ty DNA alignment!

Jarvis, find me the hours for the gym today and if it's already closed, figure out a way to get me in and turn the main lights on, STAT!

Jarvis, do I have anything left in the fridge to eat for dinner? Key up my last order from the thai place and phone it in for 7pm.

Jarvis, empty the litter box.

Jarvis, figure out if we can sue Netflix for cruel and unusual punishment on account of not offering Footloose in streaming format.

Jarvis, write a letter to Taylor Swift detailing the ways in which she's poisoning my life.

Jarvis, find me some clean socks!

Jarvis, design a kitty Nettie pot to prevent Rosie from snoring.

Jarvis, compose a letter to NBC protesting the cancellation of Freaks and Geeks after one season and demand they design a time machine to reverse the decision.

Jarvis, finish analyzing my data and write my thesis. Dammit.

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