Tuesday, August 20, 2013


The other day, I met a fellow sane person in an insane world.

It was on a date, a very good date, and not just because we went to a museum of natural history :)

The two of us were swapping dating stories, not any of the really bad ones, mostly just generally amusing anecdotes, like the guy who gave me a multiple choice survey. I ended summing up by saying that I feel that most men my age just don't know what they want, which surprised the guy I was with. I tried to explain, saying how it had happened to me twice that things had been going pretty well with a guy for a few weeks, that they had said things were going well, and then after not talking for a few days, they called it off, saying that things "weren't working out".

This is a baffling and hurtful way to be broken up with. It causes feelings of insecurity and periods of dwelling on what you must have done wrong. You feel like a leper. You have to fight the belief that you must have some terrible flaw unbeknownst to you, such as rancid breath or the fact that your face looks exactly like Jack Nicholson in certain light. Dating is very similar to interviewing for jobs. In both situations you want to be able to say, confidently, that things ended on good terms but you're looking for something different. In both situations a red flag probably goes up when the interviewee says, "I don't know why it ended, but I got booted."

So, going back to the conversation I had been having on the date, I was a little apprehensive admitting this. My companion, however, impressed me with what he said.
"That sounds like a problem with them, not with you. If they said that everything was fine, and nothing changed, then they just started thinking differently."

Hooray!!! You don't know how precious such an thoughtful response is in the vapid world of dating. His response was what I believed to be true, but in the end was only what I hoped others would believe as well. I no longer felt like a leper. Even if others might be suspicious of my breath, this man right here was also sane. It was a liberating and comforting experience. I think it also speaks to the wisdom and maturity of my companion, as males (in my experience) tend to be somewhat rodent-like in their tendency to be skittish and suspicious (and having food and reproduction constantly on the mind). He earns my admiration and appreciation for being logical, observant, and honest.

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